Sullivans Island (Continued)
I called my office after some time and apologized, saying that I had become ill, asking my boss to do the presentation. My illness wasn't a lie. The room spun around me as I fed the support material for the presentation through the fax in Tom's study. I pulled the sheets and pillowcases off our bed and flipped the mattress. I got a sponge and wiped down every square inch of my bathroom and dusted every surface in my room. It wasn't until I put the linens in the washer that I began to cry. I saw by the kitchen clock that it was afternoon - it was two-thirty. Beth had cheerleader practice and she wouldn't be home until five. What would I say to her?
I debated calling Tom's office but before I could think of what to say, I heard the front door open again. In a matter of seconds I turned to see Tom staring at me. I knew I looked horrible. My eyes were all swollen and red. Somehow the favorite dress I had chosen to wear to work now seemed frumpy and dowdy. I stood there in my stocking feet. I felt a run growing by my big toe on my left foot - it ran right up the front of my leg. I had to wear black pantyhose today? It came to me in a rush that my nails were chipped and my hair hadn't had a professional cut in six months. Needless to say, I was twenty pounds overweight.
I looked hard at Tom. He was tan and fit. He stood quietly in the doorway to the kitchen. His teeth were perfect, his stomach was as flat and hard as Formica and his loafers were shining from diligent polish. He pulled off his tie and began to roll it around his hand.
"We need to talk," he said.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"I'm sorry you found us, Susan," he said.
"Wait a minute. You're sorry I found you? Shouldn't the first thing you apologize for be that you betrayed me?" I began to panic all over again.
"Of course I'm sorry I betrayed you," he said quietly, looking at the floor. "We had it good together for a long time."
"What are you saying, Tom?" My breath was uneven.
"I'm saying I think we should try living apart for a while," he said.
There it was. The hideous truth. He wanted out.
"Why? Tom, why? Look, I know things haven't been great between us lately. I mean, I know we haven't been as close as we used to be, but I can change. I can try harder." I was pleading and I could see from his expression that he was embarrassed by it.
"Please, Susan, don't make this any harder than it is," he said.
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